Fry-dee Naht Lahts!

Watching Friday Night Lights made me want to write my own small town, Texas drama. I think I've come up with a compelling cast of characters that I think you'll grow to love. Enjoy.

Fry-dee Naht Lahts!

A small shittin' total badass Tixxas Town where football meets high school, beats the shit out of it, and then gits down with heartbreak with a little bit a'romance. A drama about drama which is 'bout fooball, trucks, and some serious heavy shit y'all.

JUNIPER BERRY - Smokin' hot ass cheerleadin' chick what done likes Trucks, beer, bowhuntin' and prob'ly is cheetin' on me, I mean, DARNELL EL JAMES DEL LIPSCOMB III, with that pussy DEETER.

DARNELL EL JAMES DEL LIPSCOMB III - The most baddest ass Quatro-back (that's spanish for four, he's smart, bitches) for the San Jacinto WILLIAM B. TRAVISES.

DEETER - total pussy.

TRUCK - DARNELL EL JAMES DEL LIPSCOMB III's most awesome bud, he's a real truck too. I mean like an actual fuckin' truck. A F-150 XLT regular cab with a L (302 CID) 4V V8 engine. This TRUCK likes Dippin' Dots and Latina women.

COACH LLEWELLYN BOMAR BOGGS - Coach of the San Jacinto WILLIAM B. TRAVISES.

VARGUS DEL LIPSCOMB III - DARNELL EL JAMES DEL LIPSCOMB III's older brother what wants him to do College shit so his little boys kin look up their UNCLE and be all proud and shit and not have to work for them lyin' cheatin' motherfuckers at BRISCOE'S LAWN AND GARDEN SUPPLY CO. on Route 45. Pieces of shit.

RENEE DAVIS DEL LIPSCOMB III - my brother's, I mean, she's like VARGUS DEL LIPSCOMB III's smokin' hot wife/girlfriend/mother-of-his-kids that secretly wants to bang DARNELL EL JAMES DEL LIPSCOMB III 'cuz she got with him at Randy's 4th of July party in the shed when they were looking for a Barbecue lighter even though she pretends like she don't fuckin' remember 'cuz she said she had like 8 Bacardi Breezers. Delivers Pizza for PAPA JOHN'S.

ZEBULON T. VANCE - DARNELL EL JAMES DEL LIPSCOMB III's neighbor who drinks beers with him and shit. He's like the neighbor from HOME IMPROVEMENT that dispenses wit and wisdom and shit but we see his face and he's always making fucking awesome barbecue and drinking beer and has lots of guns and is a white supremacist.

ISAIAH HOLIDAY - Black dude. He's a running back. Motherfucker's fast and shit. He's a good shit so we, the characters, don't bust his chops too bad. He's weird as shit though, he reads old books and don't hunt.

WILLY DEL LIPSCOMB III - DARNELL and VARGUS's Daddy. He's a real piece of shit that ain't around but he's cool. He's got a badass truck and likes titties and Hank Williams Jr.