DAN MCGLAUGHLIN

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Monday, January 4, 2010

10 Poems in 10 Minutes.

1
DreamSong #46 (Driving home from North Carolina)

the road is chewed up like a #2 pencil that that girl from gradeschool with pigtails always had in her mouth.
the sound of passing Peterbilts and tires turns my thoughts into the color of sleet and I start thinking about the Sherlock Holmes trailer from the T.V. at the bar the night before. 
Why is he bare-chested bare knuckle boxing?
King Henry VIII fought the ninjas at the Battle of Waterloo and married Jamie Lee Curtis.
There's something sad about things.
That Girl with pigtails was always so nervous.

2
Bottles

i was told once that beer bottles have colored glass because direct sunlight would ruin the beer.
sounds like bullshit. 
like losing weight while you sleep, or the Roswell alien treaty, the Mayan long-count calender, alligators in the sewer 
- seeing things through a colored bottle. 
Miller High Life is in a clear bottle, maybe that's why it tastes like piss.

3
Hat Music

I'm naming my album "Hat Music"
It doesn't exist. There's no such thing. It doesn't remind you of anything.
You ask for more details, you say things like
"Is the hat playing the music? Like in a band of other hats?" or 
"Are you playing songs and singing to your hat? It's so fucking stupid, it's the stupidest title I have ever heard."
It's the stupidest title and now you're pretty sure I'm the stupidest person ever.
I say "Ok"
Good, now we can stop talking.

4
Barack Obama

i don't know where he stands on things.
and i don't care.
i like how he doesn't wear a tie all of the time. at the podium, grinning like the charming fucker that he is.
i read that he smokes sometimes too.
"Where's the President?"
"He's catching a smoke."
"Cool."
I'm gonna go see if I can bum one.

5
Poem #5

Let's get real.
Did Wordsworth try to write something pretty? I bet he did. That's what he was trying for.
He didn't write about pissing his name in cursive on the wall and raising his fist in the air, cackling like a madman "Wordsworth will feel your blood on his hands tonight!"
Nope.
He wrote a few lines about something else.
And the words are as nice as a snootfull from a potpourri basket.
They make a satisfying snap like the buttons on a starter jacket.
I had a Chicago Bulls starter jacket that only had buttons. 
The wind would whistle in through the slits and slap my chest like a cold willow switch.

6
A Dream I had on New Year's Eve

There are three temples.
Each with their own light.
The first temple has bright light but you will die if you stand in this temple.
This temple is for no one.
People go in and die.
The second temple has the right light but you must stand at a certain angle.
You really can't lean forwards or backwards, you'll get plunged into darkness and it's very hard to get your bearings back. 
You can however live your whole life in this temple.
The thirds temple has all of the light. 
People go in and out all the time.
Look at the stainedglass.
Buy souvenirs. 

7
My friend said to me "Dan, I'm not selling out, I'm buying in." I didn't quite know how he felt about what he just said so I said "Nice, man. I never heard it put quite like that...Do you want another beer?"
He did.

8
I don't know HOW
my older brothers have houses, families, and things like that.
I've cracked under laundry.

9
The Christmas tree came down today. I guess that means it's game time.

10
My Answer to Tinturn Abbey

I peed my name in cursive in the snow on the blue ridge mountains. It was my mountain.
The wind snapped my bare hands like a cold willow switch.
I sat in the halo of my computer screen and flickering light would cast small amber phantasms on the wall through the prism of a colored beer bottle.
I made my words dance like a drunk in a tux and white gyms socks on a shiny dance floor at somebody's wedding.
I sang songs to my hat and old starter jacket.
I ran out of smokes while watching youtube videos of the president.
I thumbed through old literary anthologies and started to feel sorry for myself.
Depression would creep in through the slits because I didn't have a zipper.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

New Years Asheville

What's up guys?!
Happy New Years blah blah blah.

I'm in Asheville right now, and I've got an 11 hour drive in front of me.

We went to see Larry Keel and Natural Bridge at the Grey Eagle again.
It was pretty sweet.
John met a Sarah Lawrence graduate.
I talked to an old smelly hippy.
Good times were had.
I lost my voice.

In the meantime check this out.

I can't believe it's been a year.

In 2010 I'm gonna do a fucking handplant on the edge of the goddamn grand canyon people.

Oh, and we won 10 bucks in quizzo last night. Here's the question that took us from 7th place to 2nd place.

Q: Can you put the following Kurt Russell films in chronological order, in terms of release date.

Tango and Cash
Stargate
Tombstone
3000 Miles to Graceland

Good Luck!