Over/Under

UNDERRATED

CD's - in the day of iTunes and the Internet, it's easy to overlook the pleasure of holding an actual CD with album art, and liner notes that will sit on your desk and serve as a coaster/reminder to listen to this awesome CD that you got when you're holding a bottle of sleeping pills in your hand, contemplating suicide. Ya'see - that CD just saved your life.

RADIO - network TV offers The Bachelor, Survivor, FOX news and other sundry iterations of the A/V equivalent of dogshit. Any good shortwave RADIO gives you everything from talk shows about Reformation era politics, discussions on empiricism, to bluegrass shows being broadcast from a pick-up truck in Appalachia.

POSTERS - not the big ones that you get from the back of SAM GOODY, if that store even exists. But classic concert posters - the little 5x12 ones from when the Doors first played the Whiskey a Go-Go, or when G'N'R was first touring (see the G'N'R live album)

PAPER AIRPLANES - seriously, next time you're whacking brews, bang a couple out.

FLASKS - it was totally and completely socially acceptable to carry a flask. You're at a cold football game, it's 5:00 p.m. and you just caught your train, you can't sleep on a plane, take a little nip. We should bring this back.

ELMORE LEONARD BOOKS - Hollywood has mined his work for years. Try fucking reading them. It's like a great detective comic without pictures. And the guy can really turn a phrase.

OVERRATED

THRIFT STORES - Clothing and furniture that people have THROWN away, is not hip,cool or ironic. Once in while you might find a choice item, but I hate the hipsters that treat the salvation army like an actual store when they're probably wearing a superman-T that was some guy from benson-hurst's git-rag since the bi-centennial.

BUFFET TABLES - Umberto Eco said "Americans have a fear of absence, so they fill it with superabundance" Put the fork down fatty. "All you can eat" is a "caveat emptor" not a goddamn selling point.

VINYL - the quintessential prop for every douche/fuckhead. The funny thing is, they're coveted by people who grew up long after Vinyl records WERE ALREADY AN OBSOLETE TECHNOLOGY. Do they really sound better? Do they? Really? Do you even own a record player?

FAMILY - How many times have you heard some nitwit talk about the importance of family. I don't know about you, but i don't know a group of people that have insulted, embarrassed, humiliated and consistently sought to intentionally undermine and hurt me more (preferably publicly),

TALKING - what a fucking effeminate culture. Let's fucking not talk. Ever think silence and time to fucking deal with shit is a way to handle things Dr. Phil?

DIVERSITY - God made us all different colors, shapes and sizes. And as much as I like going to a Turkish Restaurant and smoking some Apple Tobacco from a hookah, there are very good reasons to think that all of this happyhappy horseshit multiculturalism is a strained, and sad patina of United Colors of Benetton bullshit variety. Let's all be together, but let's all be different, together - I shouldn't have to pretend to like Daddy Yankee, and you shouldn't have to play Billy Joel in a Mexican Food place.

BABY-BOOMER BULLSHIT - "Hey look, I was born right after World War II - I think I'll drench my brain in acid, smoke a barrel of weed and then fuck like a pig in the mud at Woodstock then I'll legalize abortion and outsource all of the jobs, and bitch about how these good for nothing Gen-X'rs are ruining this country. Hand me some more Viagra and Glenfidditch. What year is it? 2009? Yeah I think best new album should go to Eric Clapton again. What the fuck is a demographic winter?" Don't be fooled if there is 10 of them and 1 of you in a room. They're gonna be louder. Doesn't make'em right. Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen et al. suck. They may have had a hit 40 years ago. But guess what?: "The Dead" are dead. Go to the grocery store hippy, buy some soap.